About this shop
Halló human, this is Iceland.
What you are looking at on your inter-net now is an electronic inter-net shop that only has very good Icelandic music in it, hand-made for you by many different people who live on me.
They made this music using nothing but their brains and fancy machines like píanós and gítars and computers with many blinking lights on them. (They are very clever.)
Because they make many different kinds of Icelandic music, there are many different kinds of Icelandic music in this shop.
For example, it has music for humans who like to dance with their feet, and also for humans who have many feelings. It has music with horses in it, and summer music, and very loud music, and also music that is not very loud.
It is all very complicated. But the most important thing is that it will make your life better.
Bless bless,
— Iceland
P.S. This shop with good Icelandic music in it is a part of something very, very serious called Iceland Wants to Be Your Friend, and it is made by actual humans who are so impressed that you are still reading this that they want to tell you this.
QTAFABY (Questions that are frequently asked by humans)
"Dear Iceland, what happens when a human like myself buys good Icelandic music in this inter-net shop?"
When a clever and good-looking human (like you) with very good taste in music buys good Icelandic music on this inter-net, a loud alarm rings to wake up the people who help me with this shop. (They are helpful but they are always very tired.) When they are awake, they go to get your albúm from a special secret cave in the ground where they keep all the Icelandic albúms. When they have blown the volcano ash off it, and sprayed it with dew-drops, they carefully put it in a box and send it to you.
"Are they elves?"
Yes, they like Elvis very much. Even his later material, which is kind of unusual.
"Where do they send the albúm?"
They send it to your house. Unless you live with your mother, then they send it to her house.
Or, if you ask them nicely, they will send it to someone else's house. For example, if you want to impress your boy- and girl-friends, they will send it to their houses for you. Unless your boy- and girl-friends live with their mothers, then they will send it to their mothers' houses.
The most important thing is to not worry, because they are really serious about sending it to you. It does not matter which country you live in, they will send it there. That is how strongly they feel about this.
"Iceland, how much do I have to pay you to deliver it to me in a flying machine?"
You have to pay four dollars if you want me to send your new Icelandic music to you in a flying machine. Which, when you think about it with your brain, is not very much. After all, I am in the middle of the ocean, and flying machines are very expensive machines.
"Iceland, how much do I have to pay you to have an actual Icelandic person deliver it to me?"
I am sorry, but you cannot do this. (You cannot buy everything.) My people are all very, very busy doing important things. They just do not have time to bring you your music in person. That is just how it is.
"Iceland, I am a very important and impatient person! How long does it take for you to send you my albúm?"
Well, first the people who help me with this shop wake up, put your albúm in a box and give it to a "mail-man". Then he puts in a flying machine that flies from me, over the ocean, to where you live. Then a different "mail-man" (who probably does not even know the first "mail-man") takes the box and walks with it to your house. All of this can take a few days, maybe even ten. And if you live very, very, very far away, it can take a few days longer. But that is okay, because when it arrives in your mail-box, you will even have forgotten that you bought an albúm with good Icelandic music, and you will be happy and surprised. It will be like getting a present from yourself.
"Iceland, can I return the albúm if I do not like it?"
Yes, you can send it back in the box and the people who help me will send you your money back. But the people who help me with this shop don't think you will do this, because this shop only has very good Iceland music that makes humans happy. And why would you send back something that makes you happy?
"Iceland, I like your style. Can I tell my friends about your electronic inter-net shop?"
Yes, you can just klikk on these buttons to tell your friends about this shop with good Icelandic music in it:
"Iceland, everything on your inter-net costs American "dollars". What if I live in a country that does not use these "dollars"? Can I still buy good Icelandic music in your shop?"
Yes, dear. You can also do this. It is very simple. You just buy the music, and your credit card companý will do the rest. (It is a very helpful company.)
"But Iceland, I do not know what the exchange rate is for these "dollars"! Do I look like some kind of foreign currency trader to you? I only have euros and pounds and strange Danish money with holes in it! How much does your good Icelandic music cost for me?"
This is a very good question, and your exclamation marks show me that you are very serious about it. The people who help me with this shop say they are are trying to change this for you as soon as they can. The problem is that they are not very clever. But they have asked their uncle to help them with this. (He knows a man who owns a book about computers.)
But while they figure this out, they made a list for you to show you that twenty American dollars are about
- fifteen European euros, or
- twelve British pounds, or
- one-hundred and three Danish kroner with holes in them, or
- thirty-two Brazilian reals.
(But because this sometimes changes, and you look like a very serious person who wants to be exact, you should probably ask the Google.)
"Iceland, I would like to talk to the people who help you with your shop when they wake up. Can I do this?"
Yes, they would really like to talk to you when they wake up. Just send them an electronic e-mail to "arealperson@icelandwantstobeyourfriend.com".
"Iceland, I don't have any more questions. What should I do?"
You should write a poem.
Or call your mother. (She would like that.)